IN CASES OF ABUSE

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IF YOU ARE IN AN ABUSIVE SITUATION AND FEAR FOR YOUR LIFE, PLEASE CALL 911 OR YOUR LOCAL AUTHORITIES. YOU CAN ALSO CALL THE NATIONAL ABUSE HOTLINE AT 1-800-799-7233 OR GO TO THEIR WEBSITE.

When it comes to discussing anything to do with submission, there’s usually fear of the abuse of authority from the husband.

Physical Abuse is NEVER OKAY. Examples include:

  • Pulling your hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking you
  • Forbidding you from eating or sleeping
  • Hurting you with weapons
  • Preventing you from calling the police or seeking medical attention
  • Harming your children
  • Abandoning you in unfamiliar places
  • Driving recklessly or dangerously when you are in the car with them
  • Forcing you to use drugs or alcohol (especially if you’ve had a substance abuse problem in the past)
– The National Domestic Violence Hotline Website

 

If you are being physically abused by your husband, please call your local authorities and get in a safe place with your children (if applicable) IMMEDIATELY. IT IS NOT BIBLICAL. He DOES NOT have any biblical authority to harm you or “submit” you. He is to love your body as his own (Ephesians 5:28).

Lori Alexander shared some good advice for women in abusive situations. She also pulled this piece from another blogger, however I do not have permission to access that link, so I’ll go ahead and link her page on this topic Here.

1. Get someone else involved: Pastor, elders, etc. There are times when a man is not well mentally and/or spiritually where help is needed. It’s okay to seek that help when a husband is not in his right mind or spirit and is very far down that road. There are times where disobedience to anyone who is not Jesus Christ may be necessary if the circumstances call for it. 

2. If you are scared for your children or yourself, you need to leave and separate for awhile. Separation doesn’t necessarily {hopefully} mean divorce. Understand that if he is truly abusive this can be a dangerous time and this needs to be done carefully and with wisdom. You need to have a plan and execute it quickly and quietly. If you do not know what I am speaking about please research this before you take that step {carefully research}. 

3. Walk your husband through the steps in Matthew 18. I applaud you for seeking to win your husband without a word. I understand that some human hearts are very hard and this can take years and even decades. Men need to deal with their sin and be brought to repentance This can still be done in a respectful way and done in love ~ although it may seem harsh at the time. There are times when a husband who is to lead his family and actions might seem unloving or harsh for a period of time when circumstances or sin pops up. But a husband’s primary responsibility is to love his wife sacrificially and serve her and when she is trying to respect him, that should be the overwhelming response she is getting from him. If it is not, he is in serious sin.  4. If there is physical abuse, it is not only okay to involve law enforcement, but often necessary to involve law enforcement. 

I hear day and night of “verbal abuse” from women when it clearly is not. There are also always two sides to every story. But, if there is something seriously wrong with your husband and in your marriage relationship, you need to seek help. The best healing and medicine for that is Jesus Christ and obedience to His Word. I’m a big believer in marriage that lasts forever and honors God and in the roles the Lord lays out in scripture. But scripture has more to it than those verses on marriage and a wife winning her husband, however powerfully, true and life giving they are. 

Continue to pray for the man. But sometimes the best way we can respect and love someone is to call them on their sin and force them to deal with it- whether man or woman.

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