A Full Plate



It’s been quite a month. I made the decision to go to Bible College at Christian Leaders Institute (If you’d like to learn more about that. click Here!) which has been keeping me busy. I’ve learned that trying to maintain a blog, school, as well as keeping up on household chores is no easy task. Throw in my disordered sleep patterns and it makes for a mess that’s extremely hard to keep up with.


4th of July – 2017

The crazy thing about it is while it does get overwhelming, I enjoy all the tasks that I do. Even when it’s hard to stay asleep or awake (both are an issue) the times that I get to have while I’m conscious I’m doing things that constantly stimulate my brain and allow me to learn so many things I didn’t know. That alone makes everything worth while even though at face value it feels like a mountain.





We’re also looking at a potential move in the coming months. It is still undetermined at this point (like everything Military related), but I’m excited to see what the future holds in store for us. If we don’t relocate this year, we will 2 years from now, which is a pretty decent gap! By my August update I should have a better idea.


I’ll also give a kitty update while I’m at it: Meena is a tad ill. After a vet visit we determined by her examination and her white blood cell count being elevated that she has a viral Upper Respiratory Infection, which is pretty similar as with humans except cats can’t wipe their own noses or tell you if they’re running a fever. I got to be on “nose duty” for a few days until the antibiotics had a chance to set in. You know your pet is family when you’re spending your nights wiping your cat’s face.




Nothing new with the other two. Peaches got a cat bed that looks like a slice of toast which is literally the best thing since sliced bread (GET IT! HA… ha.). And Bella is still a schmuck. We try to update her Twitter at least once a day to update her followers on her daily antics.






As for me, I’m debating whether I’m going to fill my entire home with mini pumpkins this month. Or is it too early? Is it ever too early?

Should Christian Women Wear Pants?



I’ve been simultaneously looking forward to this post while at the same time dreading it. For one, this topic as most know is highly controversial on both sides of the argument, and the fact of the matter is that this specific issue, even though debated constantly, is very subjective. I’ve taken a pretty neutral stance thus far, but for the purpose of this article and my own convictions I wanted to do the research and answer the questions that I’ve heard a lot of women ask when taking a look at whether pants on women is biblical or unbiblical.

Where in the Bible does it say women shouldn’t wear pants?

Well, it doesn’t, but here’s what it DOES say:


“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.”

Deuteronomy 22:5 


This is the main defense in terms of women not wearing pants, via pants are a man’s garment.

But are pants actually a man’s garment?

Originally, yes. Up until the 20th Century pants were worn strictly by men. Legging-type clothes or pants were considered undergarments for women to be worn under skirts and dresses to keep warm during the cooler months.

“Until the 20th century, Western culture restricted the wearing of pants as an essential garment to men. Before the 20th century, women wore loose pantalettes or drawers under dresses for modesty and warmth. Though actual pants were sometimes seen on women in the late 1800s and in the early part of the 20th century, it was not until the 1970s that the wearing of trousers by women was accepted for business or dress occasions.”

A History of Trousers and Pants in Western Culture
Dolores Monet


Pants on women are actually very much a recent trend, which makes sense why the debate is more of a recent one as well. While pants on women is recent, pants have been worn by men for centuries, which is recorded in the Bible itself:

“Though pants seem to be a modern form of dress, pants were worn by ancient people and were mentioned in The Bible as well as in Ancient Greek mythology.

The King James version of The Bible mentions pants in Exodus 28:42: “and you shall make them linen trousers to cover their nakedness from the loins even to the thighs.” And in the Book of Daniel, 3:21: ‘Then these men were bound in their coats, their trousers, and their turbans…”

A History of Trousers and Pants in Western Culture
Dolores Monet


But what about pants made strictly for women?

This is where I feel the subjectivity begins on this matter. We can all hopefully agree that a woman wearing a man’s pants, and vise versa would be considered cross-dressing, and thus unbiblical, but what about pants made for women? Would that be considered acceptable?

I think when taking a look at this question, we need to understand that a lot of Christian women live by their convictions. Those convictions could be only wearing skirts and dresses, while for another it could be finding jeans and pants likewise acceptable. Both of which cover her nakedness (Exodus 28:42), which is probably the most important aspect of modesty in general, not to disregard other important aspects such as tightness or transparency.

So are pants on women considered modest?

Short answer, yes. Pants do the job in terms of covering what needs to be covered. However, certain pants are more ideal and more appropriate than others. Obviously anything excessively tight or transparent wouldn’t be a wise choice. But if we look on the biblical side of the coin, pants that are tailored to a women would be acceptable within reason.



A History of Trousers and Pants In Western Culture; Dolores Monet; Bellatory; 2012

Sources of Dolores Monet:

What People Wore When: A Complete Illustrated History of Costumes From Ancient Times to the 19th Century; Edited by Melissa Leventon; St. Martin’s Press; New York; 2008

Tim Gunn’s Fashion Bible: The Fascinating History of Everything in Your Closet; Tim Gunn with Ada Calhoun; Gallery Books; New York; 2012

The Encyclopedia of Clothing and Fashion; Edited by Valerie Steele; Scribner Library of Daily Life; Charles Scribner’s Sons’; New York; 2005

The Modesty Series



I’ve been pondering this topic quite a bit recently, as the topic of modesty has been resurfacing within Christian women communities, especially on Facebook. There’s always been some debate between women in regards to what is considered modest or immodest. My goal with this series is to tackle what is considered modest from a biblical prospective as well as address the practices that have been debated upon by the Christian community for decades.

When we think back close to 100 years ago, the vast majority of women regardless of spiritual beliefs held virtually the same standard of style and modesty. There wasn’t much of a divide between Christian and non-Christian people (as far as the west is concerned) when it came to what was considered modest and what was considered immodest. Now of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part when we look at clothing before the 1920’s, we see long dresses, no pants on women, long hair, sleeves, and a very high neckline. Anything deviating from that norm to an extensive degree was considered crude and distasteful for a woman.

Today, that divide is a lot longer, and so is the divide among Christian women in terms of how they define what is modest, and what is not. Should there be a noticeable difference in the way Christian women dress? How drastic should that difference be? Where is the line between what is acceptable and unacceptable?

There’s a lot of important questions we have to answer here, but first, why bother with modesty in the first place?

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”

-1 Timothy 2:9-10

The Bible is clear that women are to dress with modesty, but the specifics in exactly how to go about it is left unsaid. The Bible does however give us insight when it comes to what is considered your “nakedness” (Exodus 28:42-43) and thoughts concerning cross dressing (Deuteronomy 22:5).

Within the Christian community there is something that I’m going to go ahead and call Indisputable Modesty. These are the things that no matter who you ask in terms of level of conservative or liberal standards, all would basically agree that these things are considered immodest across the board (remember, we’re referring to women here):

  • Plunging Necklines: Excessive cleavage or any noticeable cleavage.
  • High placed shorts or skirts and reveal the buttocks area or upper thigh.
  • Midriffs or tops exposing the stomach.

And here is where the lines begin to blur, the category of Infinite Modesty:

  • Sweatpants, Yoga Pants, Leggings for the use of pants. Is it too revealing? Is it inappropriate?
  • Jeans or Pants in general. Is it cross-dressing?
  • Sleeves shorter than the elbow, or the bottom part of your shoulder. What length is considered appropriate?
  • Skirts higher than the ankles or the knees. When is it too high?
  • Necklines cutting lower than the collar bones. How low is too low?
  • Hairstyle: Should hair be always kept up? Should it be covered?

I call this Infinite Modesty because the range of responses and practices on these topics have infinite answers and questions. I can almost guarantee if you put 100 women in Christ in a room together and asked them the questions above, chances are you’re going to get very different responses. You are going to have people who are open to interpretation and you’re going to have women who unless your standard is X,Y, and Z it is considered an immodest practice.

I’m going to be diving into some of these topics this week, but the main focus we have to remember is that people are led by their convictions. What is right in the sight of one may be wrong in the sight of another. This is one of these subjects.

Have an open mind and a open heart.


I’m Back! – An Update

image1 (1)


I’m back, but I’m also very tired.

It’s been a rough last month. I’m in the holding tank waiting for my sleep study appointment to be made. Until then it’s just getting through each day and trying to accomplish my daily responsibilities at home to the best of my abilities. In addition to the world of homemaking, I’ve begun taking classes at Christian Leaders Institute, which thankfully are very flexible and self paced. My blogging life definitely has had to be put on the back burner until I learned how to manage the time that I do have awake efficiently.

I can’t wait to work on some new content. I’ve got so many great ideas that have been mulling around in my head, but I knew I needed to spend this time in prayer to really focus on exactly how to manage all my responsibilities appropriately given the situation. Thank you for being patient, my few but faithful.

With Love in Christ,


The Young (Still Tired) Helpmeet

Where In The World Have I Been?





So I’m sure a lot of people may be wondering where in the world I’ve been the last month or so. After going from posting almost everyday to dropping off the radar, I’d say that’s a valid question.

Funny (but not so funny) enough, I’ve been sleeping. And not sleeping.

Let me explain:

My circadian rhythm has never actually been considered normal. Even when I was a teenager I’d have these moments of severe fatigue that would put me in bed for all of three hours, after which I would wake up for maybe 20 minutes, and then another wave of sleepiness would hit and I’d be forced back into bed, and so on. This cycle would continue 5 or 6 times in a day, multiple times a week. Sometimes it wouldn’t occur for months, and then suddenly years later another round comes on. I’ve never had it explained before.

The last couple of years I’ve found myself unable to sleep over 3 to 4 hour durations at a time, which makes falling and staying asleep a chore, as well as more bouts of feeling absolutely incapable of functioning during the day without having to lay down. And it’s gotten progressively worse the last couple of months.

I know some people would recommend taking a natural supplement such as melatonin or forcing your body to stay awake for an extended period of time up until exhaustion. Tried it. While it may help me initially fall asleep, I still without fail wake up 3 hours later. I’ve tried melatonin and tryptophan supplements, antihistamines, muscle relaxers, sleep deprivation, all of which leave me awake within 3 hours in a mental stupor that lasts for hours, sometimes still leaving me unable to fall back asleep even though I’m mentally exhausted and in a fog.

All of that to say, it makes keeping up with duties around the home and writing a blog extremely difficult when you’re constantly falling asleep or exhausted from being unable to fall asleep during acceptable hours. And when you can only sleep in 3 hour durations your sleep isn’t entirely restful, so it takes a lot of those cycles to truly feel rested, or at least I’m sure it would, I wouldn’t actually know.

So is it Insomnia? Narcolepsy? Neither?! I’m not sure. But I’m at the point where I really need to nail down the cause. So I’ll still try to post, but until I get this issue sorted out it may be a rather inconsistent schedule. Definitely keep me in prayer!

The Young [Sleepy] Helpmeet

Overcoming a Lack of Motivation

lack of motive



She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

-Proverbs 31:27

This is even a convicting topic for me, because sometimes I take a look around the house at everything I want to get done and immediately become discouraged. Instead of seeing the work that needs to be done as work that Christ has called for me to do for Him and my household, I look at it like a mountain that I feel I can’t climb. I’d mull around the house doing little jobs here and there and then make my way to the couch tired and unmotivated to do much else. I had lost my entire purpose as to what a Christian homemakers’ motivations should be.

Your eyes should be focused on Christ, and then to the ways of your household.

It’s easy to become unmotivated doing the same mundane tasks week after week. Maybe you’ll be solid for a week or two, and then you become bored with having to repeat the same tasks again and again. If this sounds like you, what I always try to remember to do is to remind myself that before anything else, I’m doing this for Christ. Not because He cares if my toilet is sparkly clean or not, but because He has placed me in this position as a keeper at home and a helpmeet to my husband. I’m not in this season without purpose or reason, and neither are you.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew in a given day.

It can be difficult for us to keep up on everything we put on our To-Do List if we make it too excessive. You could have all the motivation and willpower in the world and still might not have time to wash, dry, and fold six loads of laundry, get the entire house wiped down, dusted, and vacuumed, dishes put away, multiple dinners made and prepped, etc. You get the idea. Be reasonable in the workload you give yourself. Do your maintenance chores first, whether that’s vacuuming, putting away dishes, or decluttering the house, and then work on your bigger jobs like scrubbing down the kitchen or mopping the floors. Otherwise it’s like trying to eat a week’s worth of food in one sitting. It’s just not a good idea.

Get out of your pajamas.

Believe me, I love some comfy pants and a fluffy T-Shirt, but it’s not conducive to getting up and moving if you really need a pick-me-up. When you’re in lounge clothes, you’re less likely to want to get out of bed and start on what needs to be done. Take that time each day to get dressed, brush your hair, brush your teeth, and if you want to put a little makeup on, go for it. Even if you have no intentions on leaving the house, it’s still helps boost your mood. It’s a lot easier to power through the day when you’re dressed for the day.

Start your mornings in the Word.

Give yourself that crisp foundation the minute you are about to start your day. Immersing yourself in Christ before even setting foot into the day can make a huge difference on your outlook on the day and its promises.  Remember that this is the day the Lord has made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it! (Psalm 118:24).

“And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.”

-Colossians 3:17

Blueberry Muffins from Scratch

blueberry muffin



When my started my journey in trying to cook more things from scratch, muffins were on the list of items I really wanted to attempt to make. Buying the packets are good in a pinch, but if you have time, throwing the ingredients together and making your own so much more healthier, and better tasting.

This recipe makes roughly two dozen muffins. You can also use the base batter with any frozen fruit you want. It doesn’t have to be blueberries.

Blueberry Muffins

• 3 cups of flour
• 4 TSP baking powder
• ½ TSP salt
• 1 cup softened butter
• 1 ¾ cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 TSP vanilla
• 1 ½ cups of milk
• 2 ½ cups frozen blueberries

1) Preheat oven to 350°.

2) Combine flour, baking powder, and salt. Set aside.

3) Cream butter and sugar until well combined. Follow with eggs and vanilla until also well combined.

4) Add butter mixture to sugar mixture and slowly add milk until well combined. It should be a little thick. That’s perfectly fine.

5) Fold in blueberries, or whatever fruit is to your preference. Before adding the batter to the plastic cups that go into your muffin tin, spray the bottoms of them with cooking spray for ease of removal after they’re done baking.

6) Bake at 350° for 17-20 minutes or until done.

7) Let cool for 10-15 minutes before trying to remove muffins from pan.

Defraud Ye Not One Another

defraud not



For some women, this is a topic that a lot of them tend to go on the defense on. I think this has a lot to do with the approach people have taken to get the point across, either sounding very insensitive, or just abrasive in their delivery. By the same token, it’s also a passage that’s been either ignored or misunderstood because of the content.

1 Corinthians 7 is mainly directed towards marital topics such as a period of sexual abstinence, winning the soul of an unsaved spouse, as well as guidelines for believers if themselves or their spouse departs from their marriage. Needless to say, Paul wasted no time in addressing this issue, and he doesn’t beat it around the bush either:


“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”

-1 Corinthians 7:1-4

To preface the main point, Paul makes it clear that in the concept of sex, the goal is to avoid temptation at all costs, thus allowing every man to have his own wife, and every women to have her own husband. He’s trying to make a point here.

“5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.”

-1 Corinthians 5-6

So here’s the main issue people, specifically women, have: We all know that a male sex drive is significantly higher than a females in most cases. So this verse tends to get tossed as a direct commandment to women since typically women are the ones who are more likely to deny their husbands sex. At the same time, a lot of wives fail to realize the importance that sex holds to men, so the depravity of it can allow the potential of there to be adultery and possibly allow other temptations to sneak in. Can this happen to the wife as well? Absolutely! Paul isn’t just addressing to the women: “Defraud not your husband or else he’ll cheat on you.”. He says “Defraud ye not one the other…” which is directed to both the husband and the wife. Paul also mentions conditions for this abstinence period: that it may be of mutual consent (7:6), that it be for fasting and prayer, and that it is temporary “that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” In case his point wasn’t clear enough in verse 2, he mentions it again in verse 5.

Don’t open the doors for temptation!

“7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”

-1 Corinthians 7:7-9

Paul understands that the vast majority are not like himself, who can stay celibate for the rest of their lives. He also understands the severity of the damage temptation can cause. So in verse 9 he makes it clear AGAIN. Don’t allow the possibility of temptation. Don’t.

Ladies, I get it. I really do. But until we understand exactly how much our husbands need sex, it’s going to be hard to snap out of the mentality that sex should only be when we desire it. And yes, this can apply to men as well, but I don’t have the authority to direct any message towards them. Now if there’s a medical reason for the period of abstinence, such as vaginal pain, recent childbirth, or anything of the sort, then of course care for your body and don’t risk harm or injury. Don’t feel like this verse is a commandment for you to risk serious pain and discomfort to avoid defrauding your husband. There are other ways to fulfill that need that don’t involve intercourse.

Again, Paul is not saying all of this out of some malicious intent to hurt husbands or wives. He’s saying this to ensure that it isn’t any easier for the chance of there to be temptation, adultery, or fornication infiltrating your marriage. This is not to harm you or make you seem like you’re some sexual object, this is to protect your marriage, and it’s not just talking to wives.

Depression & Homemaking

dep and home

This tends to be a touchy subject for most people due to the different beliefs in the Christian community in regards to mental illness. Because mental illness isn’t as easily testable for as a physical illness is, there tends to be a lot of speculation on whether mental illness is of the physical realm (such as a chemical imbalance in the brain) or of the spiritual realm (such as demon possession and lack of faith).

The truth of the matter is, there isn’t currently a blood test out there that can test solely for a chemical imbalance in the brain, and the ones out there have been known to provide untrustworthy data. We can test for hormonal imbalances, abnormal thyroid levels, and vitamin deficiencies, all of which can cause symptoms of depression, but we can’t solely look at the actual neurotransmitter levels in grave detail to make a diagnosis or prescribe a specific type or amount of medication. Usually most mental illnesses are diagnosed based on questionnaires and your personal responses to those questions.

So which one is it? I’ll never know for sure. What I do know is I understand what it feels like to not be able to get out of bed in the morning, to not want to shower every day, or to not want to go see friends at fun social activities (by nature I’m an extrovert). It’s tough. I get it. I also understand that when your home is your job, it can be hard to keep up with your responsibilities, alone, all day. It can get lonely. However, we know that the joy of the Lord is our strength (John 16:33).

Have a call buddy.

Having someone there can help drastically, especially when you feel like being alone may be a danger to you if you struggle with suicidal ideation. Ideally someone in the faith is ideal, as they can encourage you in Christ to help you get through a rough patch. If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY. Whether that’s calling a friend, the Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255), or going to the emergency room. Your safety to yourself is what’s important.

Think of 3 things (at least) that matter to you.

Whether that’s your husband, your children, your parents, your pets, whoever and whatever it may be. Run it through your head, write it down on paper, whatever you need to do to reinforce what matters to you.

Have an encouragement Scripture.

If there’s a verse or verses that encourages you, write them down and have them with you. John 16:33, Jeremiah, 29:11, and Proverbs 3:5-6 are all great ones to have.

Do the things you do when you’re in a good mood.

This is the toughest one in my opinion. This is forcing yourself to go to social gatherings, take a shower and do your hair, clean the house, etc. Whatever you usually do when you’re feeling motivated and in a good mood, do it. You’re not going to want to, you’re going to make every excuse as to why you shouldn’t have to, but trust me, it helps.

Acknowledge what triggers the depressive or anxious feelings.

For some people, it’s nothing at all. Other times it’s a smell, taste, situation, or noise that can cause really debilitating feelings. When you sit down and acknowledge what those are, it can be easier to avoid or face them in the future.


This gets a lot of people in trouble. They feel unwell about themselves or a situation, they don’t want to feel like a burden, so they refuse to air their feelings out. This causes a buildup of instability and can cause you to do things you wouldn’t normally do. You eventually turn into a pressure cooker and it’s not good. This is why having a support system (particularly one that’s in Christ), or even a therapist is extremely healthy to have.


PRAY PRAY PRAY. Your dialogue with Jesus Christ and your spiritual walk can make a huge difference. Stay in the Word and pray daily.

Believe me, I understand all these things are easier said than done. Especially in the moment, but be encouraged. it takes a lot of willpower, but that’s where Christ comes in.

“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
-John 16:33

Creating a Budget

creating budget


Creating a budget was one of the more difficult tasks for us in our marriage. We went through years of number crunching, trying budget app after budget app, in addition to trying to follow the limits we set for ourselves in limiting our frivolous spending. Every time I thought we hit the money (Oh look, a pun!) in finding a budget I can work with, either income or bills would fluctuate, which made any electronic budget inaccurate and unhappy.

What I learned early on is our family does a lot better with a paper budget than an electronic one. Having a tangible form of tracking expenses for whatever reason made it all the more easy to keep up with and change if need be. If we spend more in one category and less in another I could easily write down a transfer to balance it out, as opposed to having to change amounts and numbers in an app. It was also available for any one of us to update if needed without having to remember usernames and passwords.

I created a very basic template that anyone could recreate or use to fit their families’ needs. Depending on what categories you prefer will determine how many columns you’d need.

Start with adding up your total monthly income.

Include everything. If you want to average it if it changes regularly, that’s fine too.

Add up Primary Expenditures.

These are your bills each month. Anything with a due date and needs to be paid every month would be a Primary Expenditure. Examples would be Rent, Car Insurance, Utilities, Loan Payments, Phone and TV services, etc. Include all their due dates.

Take that total number and divide it in half, and as much as you can, try to get as close to that number as possible in dividing what bills can be paid at the beginning of the month, and what bills can be paid towards the end of the month. That way paying bills isn’t light one half of the month, and overwhelming during the other half.

Subtract your Primary Expenditure amount from your Total Monthly Income. Use what’s left to work out your Secondary Expenditures.

These are your necessities, such as groceries, gas, and toiletries. These amounts will very depending on your family and your needs.

If you have any funds left, these would be your Miscellaneous Expenditures.

These would be things like entertainment, dining out, shopping money, etc. Tithing can be included in Misc. or Secondary Expenditures depending on how much you have at the end.

What we did was take a sheet of paper and write down each type of expenditure in all three categories from left to right:

Budget 1


budget 2



This gave us the ability to make notes and adjust funds in different columns as need be. Here’s an example of how we typically use it each month:



Budget ex


If you’re also working towards trying to become a stay-at-home wife and currently work, I’d encourage you to only include your husband’s income in your draft budget. Take a look at what you can save on here and there and what expenditures you can adjust. Sometimes seeing it on paper is helpful!






“Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established.”
-Proverbs 16:3